Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Everything is more complicated than you think. You only see a tenth of what is true. There are a million little strings attached to every choice you make; you can destroy your life every time you choose. But maybe you won’t know for twenty years. And you may never ever trace it to its source. And you only get one chance to play it out. Just try and figure out your own divorce. And they say there is no fate, but there is: it’s what you create. And even though the world goes on for eons and eons, you are only here for a fraction of a fraction of a second. Most of your time is spent being dead or not yet born. But while alive, you wait in vain, wasting years, for a phone call or a letter or a look from someone or something to make it all right. And it never comes or it seems to but it doesn’t really. And so you spend your time in vague regret or vaguer hope that something good will come along. Something to make you feel connected, something to make you feel whole, something to make you feel loved. And the truth is I feel so angry, and the truth is I feel so fucking sad, and the truth is I’ve felt so fucking hurt for so fucking long and for just as long I’ve been pretending I’m OK, just to get along, just for, I don’t know why, maybe because no one wants to hear about my misery, because they have their own. - Synecdoche, New York (2008)

Thursday, May 12, 2011

My head is driving me insane!

I think there is something wrong with my mind, when I try to stop thinking about someone or about something and focus on myself my mind seems to wonder off into a more deeper thought of the same thought I was thinking about and then everything gets blown up and I am stuck with a head full of over analyzed situations and made up fantasies that I always think could happen when they don't.
I need to learn to control my mind and to relax, not everything is what you think it is, you can only hope for the best but should always be prepared for the worst.
I need to focus on myself, on what I want.
I need to make myself happy.