Everything is more complicated than you think. You only see a tenth of what is true. There are a million little strings attached to every choice you make; you can destroy your life every time you choose. But maybe you won’t know for twenty years. And you may never ever trace it to its source. And you only get one chance to play it out. Just try and figure out your own divorce. And they say there is no fate, but there is: it’s what you create. And even though the world goes on for eons and eons, you are only here for a fraction of a fraction of a second. Most of your time is spent being dead or not yet born. But while alive, you wait in vain, wasting years, for a phone call or a letter or a look from someone or something to make it all right. And it never comes or it seems to but it doesn’t really. And so you spend your time in vague regret or vaguer hope that something good will come along. Something to make you feel connected, something to make you feel whole, something to make you feel loved. And the truth is I feel so angry, and the truth is I feel so fucking sad, and the truth is I’ve felt so fucking hurt for so fucking long and for just as long I’ve been pretending I’m OK, just to get along, just for, I don’t know why, maybe because no one wants to hear about my misery, because they have their own. - Synecdoche, New York (2008)

My head is driving me insane!

I think there is something wrong with my mind, when I try to stop thinking about someone or about something and focus on myself my mind seems to wonder off into a more deeper thought of the same thought I was thinking about and then everything gets blown up and I am stuck with a head full of over analyzed situations and made up fantasies that I always think could happen when they don't.
I need to learn to control my mind and to relax, not everything is what you think it is, you can only hope for the best but should always be prepared for the worst.
I need to focus on myself, on what I want.
I need to make myself happy.

Solitude is bliss

Went and saw Tame Impala live last night at the Enmore. I can truly say it was one of the best rock concerts I have ever been too and the great thing them is they sound exactly the same live as they do on CD which is very hard to find these days. All in all it was a great concert with a very chilled atmosphere.

Lucidity-Tame Impala

Music speaks what cannot be expressed.

Hello my few fellow followers. I am very tired and cannot sleep and I have exams tomorrow and I have a very sore throat, so why not pass time by posting up some really good music for you all to download or even just listen too. These songs I'm putting on are some old favorites, some new favorites and even just some plain good feel song.  I would probably put more on but I really can't be bothered. I'll put some more up next time if you all enjoy them.


Feist, Feist, Feist. What more can I say? Her songs are very relaxing and very chilled to listen to. This song is called One Evening. I also recommend you download Let it die and Inside and Out.



Now this song my friend Sally showed me and it's amazing, such a great song. It's called Inch of Dust by Future Islands, I recommend to download it and while your listening to it on your computer put it up very loud so you experience the whole feeling of the song.



These are two of my favorite songs from one of my bands The Smiths. 


There is a light that never goes out



Hand in glove



This song is with or without you, this song is a cover of the original written and performed by U2. This cover is by Hamish Cowan.

Phantasmagorical Part II

Once Sally reaches Gina and I, she looks at us, and as soon as soon as she looked at us we understood what that look meant, words couldn't describe what she was feeling. Sally got out the cigarettes and handed them out, we all lighted up and started heading towards the party (at least where we thought it was). 15 minutes later we arrive at the party with a spare flask and a bottle of coke, we all looked at each other and knew what had to be done before we did anything... get more wasted. So we all ran into the kitchen and started doing shots and mixing our drinks. After that we all headed to the backyard where everyone was, we didn't really know anyone so we just sat down with people we knew through friends and started talking. Next thing we know is Ocean walks in with a couple of very good-looking friends and by good looking I mean about 3 of them could pass as male models.
I feel Sally's hand squeeze my leg tight as soon as she sees him. Ocean caught Sally's eye and walks over to her and said " I guess I didn't need your number after all to bump into you again " and sat down next to her. Ocean and Sally started to talk about school, music, global warming and how school doesn't shape you into a individual. While they were chatting away one of Oceans very good-looking friends came and sat down beside me (Alexa) and introduced him self "Hey I'm Phoenix" and shook my hand. I was completly tranced by him, he was beautiful, a sculpture of God. I replied saying, "Alexa" and smiled. Phoenix was perfect in the most innocent sense of the phrase he had slightly tanned skin but it was still pale. He has blue eyes, and soft baby like skin. He was tall and lean. He was wearing a blue buttoned up shirt with a maroon jumper, dark blue skinny jeans rolled up and old black vans.
Phoenix pulled out a bottle of whisky asked "do you want to do shots with me?"I said "I bet you I could beat you in shots." Phoenix replied saying "you're on." We went inside and sat at a small round table with couches around it we sat next to each other. Phoenix got two shot glasses from the kitchen and put them down on the table and poured whisky into both of the glasses and said "on the count of three, one, two, three." We both shot the whisky into our mouths, I could feel the burning sensation going down my throat as I swallowed the whisky. Then Phoenix looks at me and pours another shot.
He did the same thing again and again 5 times. Then it comes to the sixth shot (and keep in mind and that I was very drunk when we arrived at the party) Phoenix looks at me and slurs the words "I don't think I can do this, I don't think I can do this one." I picked up the shot glass and cheersed the air saying "bottoms up" and swallowed the sixth shot. Phoenix was looking at me shocked and said "I'm very impressed" I reply very drunkly saying "You're impressed? I don't think I have ever felt so wasted in my whole life." Phoenix smiles and I staredt to melt. We began to talk about silly things like travelling back in time and different dimensions untill some girl yelled "PHOENIX!" and jumps on him, I started to feel uncomfortable so I got up and walked outside.

...... To be continued